Lost in Translation

On my second night with my host family I became very sick. My stomach was killing me, I had a fever, and I felt dizzy. I also had trouble communicating so I decided to just use the computer. Glorianna, my host sister, typed "La mama......."and the computer translated "My breast (which is one meaning) will give you something." The pain went away at that point. I was ecstatic that it was so easy, until I realized she meant that her mom was just giving me some medicine.

Hey Jude

At a recent Toastmasters meeting Gergely, pronounced Gergay, spoke of a funny video he had seen on You Tube. The person in the video was singing “Hey Jude.” He asked the audience if any of us knew of this song. Gergely is an immigrant from Hungary and apparently is not too familiar with the Beatles. I indicated that I knew the song and he answered “well you are Jewish so I guess you would know of this song. The song was written about John Lennon’s son Julian, but I guess I can understand the confusion.

“Hey Jew”

Hey Jew
Where is your yarmulke
You must have left it at shule

Hey Jew
And when you try to cheat me
I’ll kick your kike ass


Hey Jewy, Jewy, Jewy, Jewy

Me, Myself

Three generations of my family lived in Brooklyn, NY. In 1976, to escape the crime and big city my Dad took a job with the Tennessee Valley Authority in Knoxville. In 1982 I was born. Knoxville was on the rise and hosted the World's Fair. Countries from around the world set up pavilions and shared their culture and science. The theme was energy.

I was an extraordinarily shy child and only felt comfortable watching cartoons. At the age of three, I would hide behind my sister. When asked by a neighbor how old I was, I peered over my sister's shoulder and answered that I was "free years old." I also often asked my parents to hold my "hingers."

In the first grade I was placed in the "shy club." In class each of us would be called out and ushered into another room. They figured shy kids should be together. We sat and colored in silence.

At the age of seven, I left the country for the first time. we traveled to Venezuela. Mangoes were a penny a piece due in part to the fat that you could pick them off the trees yourself. A maid would make breakfast for us each morning. Arepas were a favorite. Yese a native girl we staye with showed me porn for the first time. She could also sing the theme to Heathcliff in Spanish.

For most of my childhood I only had one friend at a time. Chris who lived in a trailer dropped out of high school, Chris who became a minister, and the other Kris who became a professional frisbee golf player.

At the age of nine, I left the country again going to Costa Rica. It would be six more years until I would travel outside the country again, going to Italy. Italy was and still is my favorite country. It was the food, the people, and the way of life.

At the age of 16, I joined the Jewish B'nai Brith Youth Organization. This led to many friends, more confidence, and a more outgoing sense of being.

When I graduated high school, I didn't want to go to college. I was anti college. I used my time to visit friends. Ben in upstate New York. Matt and Ben in Bloomington, Indiana and Mitch in Boulder, Colorado.

Then my sister and I were given a free trip to Israel with the Birthright organization. It aims to inspire you to make aliyah and live there in an effort to grow the Jewish population.

At 21, I started college at the University of Tennessee majoring in psychology. My family had since moved to Baltimore, leaving me alone in Knoxville. After a few semesters I dropped out and moved north first attending Harford Community College.

My sister dreamed of moving to the city. I said "Hell no, Have you watched the evening news." She persevered and we bought a condo in the Belvedere, a 100 year old hotel with 3 bars, 2 restaurants, and 2 night clubs.

The next 3 years I worked odd jobs until deciding to go into business for myself. I bought an ice cream cart in Pennsylvania. After failing city regulations for selling ice cream, I decided on coffee and French pastries. I established good relationships with Zeke's Coffee and Patisserie Poupon.

My cart was set up outside Penn Station in the early to late morning. The experience was incredible. I met great people, had loyal customers, and was going to be the center of a story for the City Paper. However it was hard work and I could only manage to break even.

After awhile I let the business go. I returned to the world of work without a degree. I landed a nice job as a valet driver, which with tips could pay up to $60,000 a year. Unfortunately I am not a good driver and after 4 or 5 accidents they let me go.

I returned to HCC and found my calling, social work, which I am now pursuing a degree for at UMBC.

At the age of 26, I have now traveled to over 20 countries, I love college, and I don't think I could have appreciated it as well at the age of 18.


appendix

I collect coin operated machines. I own a pinball machine, gumball machine, slot machine, 2 arcades, a parking meter, and a pay phone.

I'm in love with my car a bright red Datsun 280zx that I refurbished. It runs beautifully, but I prefer to just look at it.

I am an agnostic. I don't believe I know enough to rule out the possibility of a god which I strongly believe is a fabrication.

I do however have a fascination with Buddhism and am intrigued with reincarnation. Energy and matter are neither created or destroyed according to the laws of conservation of energy and matter.

Eventually, I would like to create a family business for my future children. I'd like to have a storefront and an apartment above.

George W's Library

Why does he get a library? He obviously doesn't read and admits it openly. I guess he could fill it with comic books.

Wouldn't it make more sense to name a prison after him? Rather than discouraging children to read we can encourage them to follow the rules of civility.

Defriended

I was recently defriended by someone who I thought was one those friends who would always be there. To get a jump start on the situation I declared the defriendment first. I'd like to know what I did to deserve this. After inquiring why he would not hang out with me on my once a year visit to my hometown Knoxville, he responded "I have three girlfriends and can not find the time" This may well be but I once balanced eight girlfriends and a social life.

Update
Turns out life is tough for everyone is especially during the holidays. No defriendment needed.

Foreigners

I got myself involved in a program at school called Conversation Partners. You help esl speakers by talking with them and correcting their mistakes. My first partner was Andrea. She is from Brazil and is has a lot to learn about English. She liked they way I conversed with her and told her friend about me. Her friend Andrea #2 also from Brazil asked me if I could help her as well.

Andrea #2 has provided me with some great episodes along the way. When I asked her what she liked best about Brazil she responded the food and the "bitches". I told her that she probably meant to say beaches. She said said I do not understand what is the difference between bitches and beaches. I explained that there's actually quite a big difference.

The program supplied us with movie tickets. We decided on Yes Man with Jim Carrey. Andrea #2 explained that comedies are easier to understand. I sat with Andrea#1 to my left and Andrea #2 to my right. In one scene Jim Carey is at work and an ad for a penis enlargement flashes across the screen. Of course he has to say "Yes I'd like a penis enlargement." Then Andrea #2 leans over and without whispering she asks "What is a penis?" I'm slightly in shock and I do not know what to say. Briefly I think maybe I will just point at my crotch. Luckily Andrea #1 had just learned this word a week earlier. She saves the day and explains to Andrea #2 in Portuguese.

Poetry in lyrics

I could never understand poetry or so I thought. I later realized I have always been a fan. Poetry is in the lyrics of every great song.